14 Pieces of Love Advice
Hello my darling friends, family, fiends, and foes,
Happy Valentine’s Day!
I adore this holiday. My dad, who expresses his love through telling me the weather, would tell me that Valentine’s Day is the first day of spring; because the temperature would rise on average of 1 degree each week.
It doesn’t quite work now that I’ve relocated to the desert, but I still love the sentiment.
Which kicks us off nicely for our advice:
1. Show your love language, but make sure you have a Rosetta stone so people don’t misinterpret it.
There are also anger languages, sadness languages, joy languages, etc etc but there’s not a book about that yet so you have to put on your explorer hat and grab your machete & go on a mission to figure that out for yourself & others.
2. When you only love yourself 20% and someone comes and loves you 30% you’ll think ‘wow, they love me SO MUCH’ when the reality is they love you literally half than what you deserve to be loved.
3. Make sure you buy yourself an engagement ring (or in my case, engagement boots) to remind yourself that you always come first, then your partner (Or job, or friends, or whatever).
4. You are your own best boyfriend*. Buy yourself those flowers, give yourself the foot rub, treat yourself to the fancy dinner. It’s nice when someone gives this to you, but it’s critical you give it to yourself.
*Gender-neutral archetype “boyfriend”.
6. Assume good intentions & communicate when you notice you’re assuming bad intentions.
7. When choosing a partner, make sure your inner children are best friends & go to the arcade and share chicken nuggets together.
8. Not having a reason to leave, is not a reason to stay.
9. If they won’t watch a 3-hour long video essay on Twilight, they’re not worth 3 minutes of your time.
10. Only the mountains & sea are allowed to make you feel small, never a partner (or parent, or friend, or job, or politics, or anything).
11. If someone said you were a lot like your partner, would you take that as a compliment? How would you feel if your spouse was your kid? Or your kid was dating someone like your spouse?
12. If you’re straight, be queer. Question and analyze every dynamic, assumption, assignment, etc, of your relationship. Normalize loving your partner.
13. If you’re queer, don’t be straight. Don’t fall for automatic misogyny, patriarchy, and hating your spouse.
NOTE: This is kind of clickbaity divisive language, but I also stand by my words. I am grateful that my queerness keeps away toxic people who say I can’t be friends with men. I’m grateful that in questioning my gender and sexuality it means questioning ALL norms, including defaulting to wanting children.
While there is no right way to be attracted to someone, there is absolutely a right way to treat them.
14. Your perfect love advice here - everyone wins!
Whether you’re celebrating with a partner, bff, solo, I hope you have the best day and shower yourself in compliments.
A self-love ritual I recommend is to sit in front of the mirror and give yourself a compliment followed by a chocolate. Sugar bomb yourself into Pav-loving yourself.
And if you’re closing all the windows & blinds pretending today doesn’t exist - don’t forget, tomorrow will have lots of discounted candies.
If you want more general life advice, may I humbly recommend:
24 Pieces of Advice for 2024
23 pieces of Life Advice for 2023
You may have noticed “Huh, I wonder if Dalya didn’t want to do a 25 pieces of advice for 2025” and oh GOSH are you so observant, my sweet friend!
Yes, it’s true, I skipped this year because January is feeling a lil doom and gloom over here in the “United” “States” of “America”. You can read my thoughts here if you missed them.
What’s haunting my chrome tabs recently:
In Which I Declare War On Beloved Entertainer Bo Burnham
Pick a Photo Prediction (I so unashamedly do this every month, I think it’s so fun!)
GeoKash - GOSH what a delight of a website. May I suggest paint with rocks?
Loving you is easy because you’re here,
Dalya Black
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